Can it be called ghosting when there was never a body to begin with?

Everyone is familiar with the term “ghosting” – you’ve been ghosted when a friend or romantic interest suddenly stops replying to texts and calls. It’s painful because there’s no reason why, never any attempt at closure… the person has just disappeared, like a ghost.

That hasn’t happened to me yet. Everyone who has disappeared from my life has been very kind about explaining why they weren’t going to be in it anymore. But I have had its weird predecessor – cricketing, maybe? Named for what happens when you’re expecting a reply, but instead there’s just silence. A silence so loud you can hear crickets. You’re in the middle of a text conversation, and suddenly that person just. Stops. Answering. For no good reason.

“Text” isn’t really the right word here; I don’t give out my phone number to men I haven’t met in person, so all these conversations have happened only on the dating apps.

A few times, it’s happened because I’ve refused to give a man my number. We’ve liked each other on the app, exchanged some messages. Now he wants to chat; I tell him I prefer a face to face meeting rather than give my phone number to a stranger on the internet. The response: crickets.

Or they are suddenly going out of town and strangely enough will not have access to the internet while they’re gone, but they will definitely get in touch as soon as they get back. Instead, you guessed it: crickets.

In one case, a guy answered my standard opening message of “You seem great; please check out my profile and write back if you think we have important stuff in common” with a message thanking me for writing and complimenting my smile. I thanked him and asked a question about his neighborhood. Cricketing ensued. Perhaps he thought I was already planning to stalk him?

Another time, I was the cricketer. A guy asked me what I meant by “progressive St. Pete.” I said I was a progressive looking for another progressive. I then proceeded to receive a string of messages on how I should move to L.A. Not only did he get crickets from me, I blocked him.

Disappointing, yes – especially the guy I messaged first – but ultimately good that they reveal themselves early.

And the guy who blew me off last week because he was sick? He’s been messaging me often, and now we plan to get together on Friday. Will he actually show up this time? Stay tuned.